Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
