Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
