you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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