life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize