Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
