I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
