god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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