With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
