how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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