Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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