my mouth tastes like poor choices
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
