no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
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Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
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Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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