In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We were destined to go to rehab together
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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