So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
