I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize