This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Randomize
