Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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