She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
