yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
sex in a hospital.. check
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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