Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
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In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
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I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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