Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
