i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
