he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
