when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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