Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
