i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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