Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
