girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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