im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
