one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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