Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
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Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
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It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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