that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
