It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
