is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
