Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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