love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
