How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize