that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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