I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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