I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
