My hand turned me down
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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