Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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