She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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