Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
