READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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