We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Can you repeat that, but with context?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
