Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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