my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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