Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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