K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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