New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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