my vag is so smooth its legendary
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
