You can't motorboat a personality
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
