I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
