I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My vagina is very pro this idea
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
