You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
