Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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