I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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